A Word On Lift Etiquette, From Miss Pounce

Miss Ottoline Pounce, our esteemed Lift Attendant these twenty three years, has asked that the following be published for the benefit of all patrons. First, one does not sniff the other passengers. Second, one does not paw at the buttons, which are brass and expensive. Third, one does not sit in the corner and refuse to alight at the intended floor.

She further wishes to remind customers that the lift ascends at a stately 1.2 feet per second, and that attempts to hurry her will be met with a dignified silence of up to eleven minutes. Miss Pounce reports that the lift is quite content, and that the hum is the sound of a tune only she can hear.