In recent weeks the grand staircase has been the scene of several mishaps, most notably the descent of a large tabby on a tea tray, and the unfortunate collision of two aunts. The management wishes it to be known that the staircase is not a slide, a playground, or a theatre.
Patrons are requested to keep to the left, to hold the banister, and to refrain from racing one another to the landing. The brass rail has been waxed to a mirror finish, and we cannot be responsible for the consequences. A cat who falls upon the stairs will be assisted by Mr. Clank, who will carry them out gently and with an air of weary dignity.
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